News and Updates

This Happened a While Ago:

Postby » Sun Mar 11, 2012 7:05 pm

Mad late on these updates, and a bigger one with the end of expansion stuff to follow after this.

Ultraxion died pretty quickly after we came back from the holidays:


Blackhorn sucked for a while. Some of us liked to be an heroes and commit suicide. Others tunnel visioned and let their partners die. Acto and Kal juked each other 3 times every Barrage. It was kind of impressive. Eventually we plugged into the Overmind and won.:



And with that we said goodbye to our resident Grand Social. Meth moved on to greener pastures after this fight. His bar mitzvah was coming up you see, and 13 year old men don't play World of Warcraft anymore. Good luck with your manhood Mark, we're all rooting for you.

Spine was next.. Oh Spine.. The luxury of a wonderful new Mage recruit (hi Nissel!) and being 10m made the DPS check of the fight pretty easy for us, but we kept being overwhelmed by Bloods in the end of the fight. Once the 5% nerf hit, In an effort to get more AoE we followed said Mages suggestion and tried 4 healing it for a good 2 weeks. Which worked nicely, our AoE was clean, everything was fine until that 12:30 minute mark, and the crazy amounts of Blood we had in Phase 3.2. We thought were OK on time, we compared our wipe logs with kill videos and they were about the same time. We just needed to survive about 15 more seconds in P3 and we'd have a kill.

With two pulls left in the night, we got the last Tendon pry to 20% and then 6%. We were so close, but we kept falling apart a few seconds before we needed. Our 4th healer had to leave at that point, so we decided to try one last shot with 6 DPS and see how it went. Well what do you know:



And with that we also said goodbye to Marrtyr, who had recruited his replacement in Nissel and finally could leave the game he had grown to hate. Big thanks to him for sticking it over the month because he knew we needed him. He has since drank himself into a coma due to the stress that is the Washington Capitals playoff push. He will be missed.

We probably could have killed this a week earlier if we had switched back to 3 healing and not overestimated what an extra DPS did to the overall time of the fight. We dropped from a 12:54 wipe to an 11:21 kill with the extra DPS, and subsequently 1 shot it on our first attempt with 3 healing of the night. Sure the healing was rough and the AoE a bit messier. Sure the healers were OOM at the end and all died. Sure this almost happened with 10 seconds left in the fight:

[22:52:06.254] Corrupted Blood hits Palin 2549 (O: 11152)
[22:52:06.659] Palin's Dispel Magic dispells Kaleena's Blood Corruption: Death
[22:52:07.018] Palin dies

But it didn't. The damn fight was finally over, and the last fight of this expansion awaited..

(Big Madness + end of expansion update coming soon).

Bloods and Thunder

Postby » Tue Dec 20, 2011 5:04 pm

One week, two Monday night kills. Both coming an hour before we had to move on, both saw much improved performance as time drew to a close. Hagara took longer to kill than most guilds, but we blame mysterious Ice Lance changes halfway through the first night. And being bipolar with our strategy. Eventually one worked, obviously.





We also finally went back and finished the Firelands meta.. fuck that Ryho achievement and it being such a pain in the ass to do on Heroic.


Heroic Progression goes on hold for the next 2 weeks. Happy Holidays all.

We Eat Balls

Postby » Fri Dec 09, 2011 4:01 am

Been a while since an update huh? Hard to live up to EPIC TIER HEROIC RAGNAROS + GUILD REVIEW TIME. Or Zepp and condoms. But I'll have to try.

So 4.3 came out last week. We forgot to take pictures of Normal mode clear after splooging all over Deathwings.. er.. Wings and Arms? But since Normal modes are all face roll anyways, no big loss.

This week began what may be the last progression race of the expansion. Tensions were high and spirits eager of course. Morchok was up first, and after realizing we were making the fight much more difficult than it needed to be, we just ignored any fancy mechanics and pretended like we were 5-manning shit. EZ. We forgot to screenshot again, but this is kind of what it looked like:



We tried both Yor'sahj and out a bit, and decided to make the push on Zon'ozz. We were quite perplexed following after our first hour at how we were possibly going to make a 6 minute Enrage, until Patty - being the sole voice of reason and truth that he always is - informed us that we were being retards for not paying attention to how Void Diffusion worked in previous LFR kills. Some strategy changes left us at tight 8%, 3%, and then 2% wipes to end Wednesday night's raid. After some adjustments to find a bit more DPS, we smashed his ugly face in Thursday. Maybe he should have borrowed some of that Black Blood from his big brother Vezax or something.



At some point I'll also get an update about our Dragonwrath recipients. I'm only a tier late, no biggy.


Postby » Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:54 am

Zepp. Condoms and a bottle of vodka :shock:

Why we can't have nice things.

Postby » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:59 pm

This week, a date which no one will ever fucking remember a thing happened. generally when things happen its some sort of miracle like a Jesus or bacon. In this case is was completely opposite. It was akin to like the car getting hot when sitting out in the sun. Was just shitty.

Rage of the Firelands is a pretty apt name for this content patch. Mostly the rage part, Blizzard set a pretty strong tone right off the bat by trashing our under water aqua disco instance. I mean one of the major themes of this xpac was THE WHOLE FUCKING UNDERWATER KINGDOM IN THE OCEAN. You know the one with the instances, the seahorse all that shit. Yea it was kinda a big deal. I was expecting an SSC 2.0. I yearn for giants made of muck and fungus to tbag our raid. I was expecting to ride around on a fucking seahorse with a 6 pack throwing seashells into the eyes of some sort of hentai squid fucking thing. Then maybe a boss with bubbles all over the room that require you to like collect bubbles into the center of the room by getting into them and running so you can form a super bubble to battle some sort of giant clam that spits out crabs. The last boss? Oh yea it would have been Cthulhu, or maybe something that looks like Cthulhu, maybe lore-wise it would be the bastard child of neptunium drunken one night stand with a mantis prawn one he doesn’t call or anything. you know Cthulhu kinda Derpy but super strong, retard strength and all. You’d battle it like shadow of the colossus and the raid splits up climbing up this bitch and idk maybe you cut a hole and go inside him with one team so you can stomp on his liver.....something like that. I WANT THAT SHIT. Would have been fucking awesome, Well at least my version of it would have been. Oh and one of the drops would have been a shield that’s like an old shitty tire with a hermit crab in it, has a chance to pinch the fuck out of an attacker. Alas I'm not in charge of loot design or instance design....yet. What I'm trying to say is we got a big fuck you right from the start.

On to the fire part of the story. The encounters of Firelands really made you feel like Blizzard could have done great things with this tier of content. In-fact the foundations were laid for a "WE'RE BACK WHORES" content patch. But with the cancellation of half the content and the general "almost there" feel for a lot of the boss fights the good enough club really hits you in the face. All of the boss mechanics were well implemented and made the fights a unique event. Wow generally has 2 kinds of fights. The ones that you reference by the name of the boss your fighting and the ones you reference by the name of the boss the mechanic copys. All of the fights in Firelands are fights you’ll end up using as references for future fights which is quite a credit to the design staff. That being said they gave little resistance to the push that was the SF war effort.

From the onset of the Rag fight I feel that everyone believed he would be a couple weeks of learning then a kill. FUCK did we fuck this shit up that bad. Sure the fight has a few mechanics that needed some work but COMMON Its like we had themes for every day of the raid week. Drink battery acid Wednesdays, Run into walls Thursdays. Eyeball shots Mondays. The fight has little in the way of exceptionally difficult mechanics. The kill was ours for the taking like a prom dates virginity, we even had a head start for fucks sakes. I mean shit our competition was a bunch of special ed kids that play math blaster during most of the week. Our arrogance and lack of concentration resulted in constant setbacks on the simplest of shit. from sons to FUCKING MOVING FORWARD AND BACKWARDS. We managed to invent ways to not win. Words don’t really exist for the fucking terribleness we put into this fight. Not only was our performance terrible but we had a raid with more problems than a Vietnam war vet. 1 Hunter wasted every Wednesday talking to a zombie Jew for , a Druid with a severe case of narcolepsy, a Mexican hooked on blow and ponies, our fearless leader who is part moth and is oddly attracted to fire/bug zappers and then comes me, ill leave that judgment to my peers. Together, we managed to form a new justice league of terrible. The league of retarded gentlemen + lady. Enough about our failures.

We dropped the ball pretty hard on rag so the sweeping Firelands nefs come around on Tuesday and allow us to tear apart the farm content with more or less ok drops for the week. The damage reduction and reduction in add health lead us to making final phase progress with in the first attempt. Smelling the kill we MANAGE TO ALMOST FUCK UP THE KILL. The minorly(not sure a word) important task of Deluge was delegated to our previously mentioned superhero Marrtyr. Well he dies by taking a Meteor to the face. Smelling our impending doom Methios takes up the role of water sprinkler and runs around with literally no idea wtf he is doing and buys the raid enough time to LET A HEALER AND TANK DIE. Based on the superhuman abilities of our tank we buy enough time to whittle down rags health to 0 granting us the months behind glory of a Rag kill.



Once in a while I like to take a moment an reflect about not only my time in Spike Flail about the people that have made the journey thus far the experience it has been. With that I would like to take the time to introduce you to the "great" people that have made this "kill" so memorable. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THIS IS A JOKE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MURDER ME IN MY SLEEP.

Not sure if Acto is still in the guild but at the very least he hangs out in Vent talking about Game of Thrones. Long ago he informed the online community he was a black man. To this day its assumed he is Italian and runs a pizza shop in California. He was last seen driving a golf cart around an empty parking lot yelling "I NEVER STAND IN FIRE!"

The luckiest re-roll of the expansion. This man has managed to roll into the class with will be getting not one but 2 legendary weapons in the next content patch. When hes not standing in fire he spends his free time running a small business out of his Chicago apt. He exports attitude to small impoverished countries in desperate need for douchy comments. Business is booming as the recent temperament in the Middle East is a direct result of his skyrocketing sales of Chicagitude.

Valock was sent to the guild by a council of guilds on Ner'zhul to prevent SF from regaining the "better than you crown". Valock was sent through a year long training course teaching him the best ways to stand in shit that will get him killed. In his spare time he enjoys cutting up small worms with an exacto knife hoping to invent a hydra. He also has an insane knitting habit and has created a whole line of knitted clothing....for cats.

Russian drug dealer currently selling spice to teens in Canada. Believed to be a KGB spy trying to infiltrate American gaming communities, Kal has forsaken his duties in favor of a debilitating obsession with collecting vintage film cans. He is well known among the local film can collecting association (fcca). He will most likely end up murdering his family in a bout of insanity when his vintage 1983 grey-top deluxe film can is used to hiding some pot.

Denick (lol faggy gear bro)
Denick enjoys to the sound of his own voice, so much so he has completely circumvented his inbound audio so he only hears him self in his headset. This allows for in-depth conversations about game mechanics, strats and class concepts. Has been known to get into fierce arguments with the voice in his headset causing the great cheese wiz incident of 2010. Denick is currently employed as the local ginger tyrant. His duties involve leading ginger rallies against the sun and tips and tricks for sucking the soul out of the general population. It is suspected that he has a respiratory condition as he can constantly be heard in mumble exhaling deeply into the mic. No one knows what class he plays.

Managed to get a job beating women, Zepp is prone to FREQUENT bouts of sandy vagina syndrome. Now currently science hasn’t come up with a name for this advanced state of vaginal drought. I think I can lend science a hand. This level of emo is now called Sahara crotch. Wikipedia entries are currently in the process of being updated with information on the new condition. On his time off Zepp enjoys intercourse with birds and inviting little girls into his house to watch My little pony, you see Zepp doesn’t like to enjoy ponies alone as the magical adventure is best when shared with friends. After the weeks episode ends Zepp provides a cookie to the young girls and sends them on their way. He is just a grown ass man watching a show about animated ponies.

This is the guild child, age is uncertain. It has been mentioned he can drive but that’s about all we know. He wasn’t actually good enough to get into the guild but raid comps deemed his abilities necessary, OH and we had no alternative. Meth has since moved on to telling men on the internet to "get at him". From the research done on this is is assumed this is how young males attract older gay males to buy them dinner at Denny then play steam boat captain in the parking lot. In 2011 he sold his sister to Cptn for a canoe of mountain dew.

The fearless leader, it's quite possible he runs the guild as a social experiment and will present his findings as a thesis paper. He spent many years as a mind wizard. Rumor has it he carries a washing machine around with him at all times the reasons are unknown. As a galactic mind wizard Palin spent many months trying to figure out how to actually get off the planet only to realize it was all a dream and the most he can currently hope for is controlling small groups of socially retarded people into combat. Palin is also rumored to be the only man alive able to bring back metal.

The socialist revolutionary leader of the fictional country in her head. Our resto kin spends a lot of her free time going for long walks hearing the color purple and having staring contests with dill relish. Rumor has it that she is indeed a real female though its never been proven. She is an absolute credit to the guild as she is singlhandedly our guild bank and keeps every member of the guild supplied with flasks and pots. Her mental state is in an advanced state of decay as she actually enjoys fishing in World of Warcraft. Soon she wont even remember her own name.
Fun fact: she runs a homeless shelter out of her couch.

The Mage extraordinaire, when not talking about beer and cool down phases this man is a part time batman, leaping into action to assist old ladies with their air conditioning. He is the current leader of a hockey cult dedicated to the goal of acquiring the playoff beards of from all of the Washington Capitals. Marrtyr is known to be battling a vicious case of inappropriate sarcasm. Modern medicine is just now starting to work on a cure for this issue. It is believed to be a form of prolonged tourettes. Marrtyr took to the mage class naturally as he lost most of his fingers in a tragic ferret fighting accident. No one is sure what he will do if mages are someday required to hit more than one button.

Imported from China to infiltrate groups of white males to learn their ways for the eventual invasion of north America by the Chinese. Arteria "the silent dragon" has managed to perfect a neural interface with world of warcraft. This has allowed him to be spike flails main tank, put out more DPSthan most guilds' all star performers AND multi box 7-8 other toons to fund his rabid funyon addiction. The likely-hood that he will end up murdering all members of the guild in the year 2012 nears 100%. Unsubstantiated rumors indicate in the year 2005 he merged bodies with his brother Hirokal onto a spider like mechanical platform[Fig 1]. They managed to perfect circular respiration.(plz don’t kill me)

Rallik was born in a lab in central Sweden. The the Swedish defense ministry was attempting to find a weapon to end war, as the swedes are bitches and never get involved in anything that may take them away from designing cheap dorm furniture. The result was a child lacking the proper blonde hair needed to be compatible with the IKEA war suppression automaton. The child was secretly shipped off to a swede splinter cell residing in that "don’t ya kno" part of the country. There the child grew and trained to be the greatest warrior the world has ever known. These days he can be seen sitting on his throne eating Swedish fish while commanding his trained ferrets to act out his favorite movies. Hes better than you, seriously.

As writing about yourself is painful and is about as uncomfortable as rubbing petroleum jelly all over your body I will only be posting an action shot.

Leatherworking is a sin. No one should ever level it. I mean fuck its just a shitty concept. Leatherworking? what are you gonna make leather bags and sell them in those shitty Indian stores.

Why this was late. It was a dark and cloudy Friday night, at the climax of content an internet gremlin cock stomped my internet into the ground. I had just wrapped up my first case of 18/16s and the writing was intense. i was fingering my keyboard harder than a dude that cant get it up but needs this chick to stay around. The most epic, brutal and hilarious status update was being forged out of straight genius ore. This was likely to be the best set of thoughts ever put into words. Children would create Halloween costumes in my honor. Women would need a stack of napkins in their pants and men would weep after reading the intro sentence. Sadly I fell the fuck asleep. Upon waking i realized that someone had hacked my computer and put the whole post into some cryptic language I couldn’t decipher. Realizing my decoding efforts were in vein I rewrote the whole thing. Basically i got super drunk and nothing made sense.


P.S. Like a boss

What, no Fire Seal form?

Postby » Fri Jul 29, 2011 2:46 am

This guy proved much easier than Baleroc, and much less random and frantic. Going from the RNG bursty nature of Baleroc to this controlled, pure execution fight was a nice change of pace. So much that I got Patty killed at 12% just to make the killshot attempt more interesting. That's how we roll.


WoL - (Nerf Rallik)

Also for fun, a brief relapse of "This Day in Spike Flail History." I found this in my screenshots folder when making the post. Exactly 2 year ago to this day:


Good times good times.

Anyways, nice job on the quick progression through the first 6 bosses. With that we end the warm up before the real Firelands Heroic starts. Ragnaros and many nights of wiping await us. Should be fun...


Postby » Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:03 am

Seriously, gdamn.

After Beth, the Gatekeeper himself was our obvious next choice. We soon learned that execution wise, the fight was pretty straightfoward and simple. From a healing standpoint, it was maddening. Unlike in 25m where the Enrage is the hard part of the fight, in 10m the challenge comes from handling half of your raid team (a whopping 2) being Tormented at a given time, and/or having only 1 healer to top up Decimation Blades. One bad lack of avoidance streak, one hit coming fractions of second before a heal landed, one Decimation blade deciding to land immediately after a melee swing was the difference between a kill and a wipe. Without the second healer on the tank, you just had no buffer or leeway to deal with bad RNG on his hits.

We spent a solid two nights on Bale, culminating in a best attempt of 18% last Thursday. We knew we could get it down this week but the pressure was on. Both frustrations and a renewed hope came about with a 3% wipe resulting from a dead DPS. A few pulls later, after some frantic screaming as our tank' health refused to move no matter how many heals we pumped into him, and somehow keeping him alive despite two OOM healers and no explicable reason to his survival, we downed him.



One more to go till the big guy.

Cunt Killers

Postby » Tue Jul 19, 2011 4:57 pm

Ok so she wasn't really that bad after we realized our initial P1 setup sucked.



Again, thank you for the perseverance and patience you've all shown, pulling late night raids and staying on progression longer than we should to get a kill.

Aftewords Rag decided to bless our awesomeness with a very rare mount drop. After threatening to send the KGB and blow up dirty bombs in all of our cities of residence, we reluctantly gave it to our resident Commie:



Unfortunately the loot drama was so pronounced that I had no choice but to take all of the Gbank's money, dissolve the guild, and transfer to Darrowmere where I am excited to start a new beginning with the talented group of people in "Chicken N Rofls." Blame Kal.

Thanks for everything Spike Flail!

Al-es-ray-zor? Or Al-ys-rah-zor?

Postby » Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:30 am

Following the Ryholith kill, We pushed pretty hard last week on Beth and Razor, deciding ultimately that Razor felt more doable at the time. Then extra hours on progression week #1 caught up to us and we decided to start sucking dick. We came into Firelands tonight determined to turn the page and put 2 nights of horrible performances behind us, and we did so in magnificent fashion. We never saw past the 1st Firestorm in the 2nd cycle before tonight. After we got past that point, we killed her a few pulls later.



Having to stay alive for 15 minutes is usually pretty hard for us, as we like big numbers and the taste of fire generally. So I'm very proud of us for following two pretty bad raids with such an impressive display of consistency tonight. Wonderful job guys!

On to kill some boss who's name starts with B.

Day uh.. 5?

Postby » Thu Jul 07, 2011 3:16 am

Tier was supposed to post our Rag killshot over the weekend, but didn't. He sucks. So we are doing multiple updates in one!

After going 5/7 Normal the first night, we went in Weds and promptly dispatched Majordomo and got to work on Rag. He didn't die the first night but after some adjustments on Thursday we were getting to P3 regularly, and he died after the second time we saw the final phase.


Bouncy balls are fun.

So we chilled for a bit, waiting eagerly for Tuesday when the real progression would begin. Along the way we decided to forget everything we knew and re-learn Sinestra because we like ourselves a challenge. We're adventurous like that.

Tuesday rolled around, and the fun began:

Shannox was our first target. Much to our surprise we discovered the entire strategy of the fight changed from Normal to Heroic. While 25m guilds lolZerged him down by dropping healers and letting DPS die left and right while burning him down, we realized we didn't really have that option in 10m. After some practiced coordination, and some tweaking with our trap timing we broke through and landed a kill a few attempts later.



Afterwords we played with Beth'tilac a bit, discovering she's a giant cunt. I'll let you know if that changes.

Today we decided to work on Rhyolith and were glad to find him hotfixed to alleviate some of the RNG with volcanoes. We had to teach our raid to drive a bit, learn to ignore some adds that we didn't think we had to, and a few other tweaks. We found ourselves pushed up the soft enrage timer, but after some shifting of DPS priorities and creative timing, we managed to push him into P2. The second time we got him to P2 we scored a kill, WITHOUT Angel form being needed. Clearly not the MVP :(



Afterwords we went back to work learning Beth, determining that little had changed, she's still a cunt.

Great job guys, we're progressing nicely through Firelands Heroic the first week, performing at that level we knew we still could. We started slow in T11, so its nice to see us not making the same mistakes this tier (proper 10m tuning helps too, thanks Bliz). Let's keep the great pace up!

Firelands Day 1

Postby » Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:54 am


5/7 after day one.

One More!

Postby » Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:04 am

To no one's surprise more than our own.. apparently we're awesome.


According to Guildox its only the 4th in the US. Not bad.

Tier 11 = Done

Postby » Sun May 22, 2011 4:30 pm


And with that, we're (finally) done with the first Tier of Cataclysm endgame content.


It's been an interesting five months. After dissolving near the end of ICC due to RL changes, we made the decision to return to endgame raiding in Cataclysm testing Blizzard's new "equal" 10 man raiding model. The idea was simple - playing with old friends who we knew we could rely on, who had desire to see Cata content, while avoiding the stress and hassle of revolving-door 25m recruitment needs. We started with a solid amount of our old WoLK raiding core, but after the first few weeks of being 85 and the normal drop off of people took place, we were left with a core of 14 for our 10m raids. Unfortunately as we entered into the Heroic content in early February, we found that even running with old friends doesn't alleviate the burden of attrition, as we slowly lost key DPS members. The addition of a few old friends into our raids mid-tier kept us running, but by Mid-March we were running with only 12 people in a 10m raid, with 5 of those being healers. Our lack of depth slowed our pace down a bit, notably on Al'akir and Council which each took 3-4 weeks alone. But we persevered and finished the tier as we started it, as a close group of friends who just wanted to kill shit.

Personally, I've never enjoyed raiding more than I have now. This tier of content has been an amazing balance of challenge and fun, the best since Ulduar easily. Not having to constantly deal with the stress and vetting requirements of new Applicants and Trials has been a welcome addition. Going into every night knowing that I could rely on the people in the raid completely, as I'd been playing with each and everyone of them for at least a year or more was refreshing. And learning encounters like Heroic Nef P3 or Sinestra where everyone's role was amplified because of less people - when healing as a team and covering for each other's weaknesses because you only have 2 or 3 healers in an encounter - was one of the most fun things I've done in this game in a long time.

Alas we cannot survive on a 12 man roster throughout Firelands, so now that we have time in between raids before 4.2 hits, we have decided to replenish the roster a bit. It'd be shortsighted of us not to assume we're going to have attrition over a 5-6 month period of 4.2 as well, and we have to be prepared. Therefore we've decided to open up recruitment for a limited amount of time. Our standards are as high as ever and our application process will be just as strict as it was in WoLK, if not more. We want to make sure anyone we're adding to our small core of raiders will fit in both in skill and personality.

If you feel you'd be a good addition to our group, and are interested in top-end 10m raiding, please feel free to apply here. As always, please be sure to read everything and apply properly - we have a low tolerance for applicants who can't read.

Currently we're open to recruiting all classes, as we have some re-roll and alt options within our group that are willing to do so if skilled replacements to their class/spec come along. Notably atm we're looking for solid DPS however.

-Frost/Unholy DK
-Ret Paladin
-Elemental Shaman
-Feral Druid (should be geared both for Tank and DPS)

-Holy/Disc Priest
-Fury Warrior
-Resto Druid

If you're interested, feel free to apply.

See you in Firelands!